The Idaho Botanical Garden's Holiday Lights in Boise has been on my bucket list for a few years.
It's nestled in the foothills and it was not only beautiful to walk through, the city lights shimmering in the background made it even more spectacular!
Replace Holiday Loneliness with New Explorations!
Our holidays have become more nontraditional since being with family is not always an option. This use to make me feel lonely and sad. But over the past few years, I learned that I was literally making myself miserable dwelling on the past. This is one of those pivotal moments that I realized I was focusing all my energy on situations I can't control and even worse, I was missing out on opportunities to discover new traditions with my husband! I've learned to replace my loneliness by embracing our freedom. Our freedom to explore new ways to enjoy the holidays without all the hustle and bustle! Yes, we can sleep in if we want to and skip all the holiday cookie baking if we want.
This past Thanksgiving found us enjoying a four course meal and an overnight stay in the city. No meals to shop and prep for. No dishes to clean up. It was quite heavenly to be honest.We had a lot of fun together and found ourselves coming full circle from when we were first married some 30 years ago, grateful to still be the best of friends. We dressed up fancy and even enjoyed cocktails in the hotel lobby bar.
(Not exactly something we would do with children! LOL!!)
Hubby works Christmas too. So this past weekend we found another "light walk"
and enjoyed a wonderful steak dinner out. It was just perfect.
So creative...
ACCEPTANCE
I know with great certainly that our attitude has a tremendous amount to do with the quality of our lives. My recent readings have enabled me to understand that sadness results from resistance to what is happening. Thinking that this "something" that was so unpleasant and undesirable should not be part of my life. The past few years, the holidays have of course magnified these emotions as while most are celebrating the holidays with family, I often find myself alone, waiting for my husband to get home. I didn't know how to cope with this. Until, I realized that I was wasting so much of my emotional energy on resisting the change that was happening in my life. There was this deep feeling reminding me that I'm in charge of my emotions. I learned long ago, that I can accept my present circumstances even if I don't approve of them. I need to do that once again.
BE AT PEACE
My Uncle John use to always tell me to BE AT PEACE especially during the time that I was
conquering Cancer at a young age. I find myself reflecting back to those lessons learned and journals kept. In my acceptance IS MY peace. It's not that I approve or that this is how I thought our family would evolve, but I do not move forward expressing regret, resentment or even rejection. With my acceptance, I have found the strength to actually begin to embrace my situation of being alone as an opportunity to be in control of my life and celebrate the healthy relationships I have.
I hope nothing more for you, my readers, that this holiday season finds you AT PEACE.
Many of us suffer loss in one form or another, and the holidays can magnify these feelings of loss,
thus I will end with this from my Uncle's writing,
grateful he left me so many manuscripts of his writings before his passing back in 1999:
"Peace comes from the realization that in any circumstance life remains filled with goodness. This situation may include a variety of unfortunate and undesirable facets, when they are accepted with insight and dealt with with patience there is to be found a treasure within ourselves."
"Anyone who searches for the rainbow of peace will find the gold of inner strength. Suffering can be seen as the dense rainfall in which the rainbow is hidden for the moment. Worry or grief is like remaining in the rain rather than standing in the sun and observing the rain from a distance, the only place from which the rainbow can be seen. This life of the sun must be present to see the beauty of the rainbow."
My friends this holiday, I challenge you, that whether it be you or someone you know, to stand in the bright and warm sun of peace rather than curse the chilling rain. Merry Christmas!
