Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Be At Peace

The Idaho Botanical Garden's  Holiday Lights in Boise has been on my bucket list for a few years. 
It's nestled in the foothills and it was not only beautiful to walk through, the city lights shimmering in the background made it even more spectacular!

Replace Holiday Loneliness with New Explorations!

Our holidays have become more nontraditional since being with family is not always an option. This use to make me feel lonely and sad. But over the past few years, I learned that I was literally making myself miserable dwelling on the past. This is one of those pivotal moments that I realized I was focusing all my energy on situations I can't control and even worse, I was missing out on opportunities to discover new traditions with my husband! I've learned to replace my loneliness by embracing our freedom. Our freedom to explore new ways to enjoy the holidays without all the hustle and bustle! Yes, we can sleep in if we want to and skip all the holiday cookie baking if we want.

This past Thanksgiving found us enjoying a four course meal and an overnight stay in the city. No meals to shop and prep for. No dishes to clean up. It was quite heavenly to be honest.We had a lot of fun together and found ourselves coming full circle from when we were first married some 30 years ago, grateful to still be the best of friends. We dressed up fancy and even enjoyed cocktails in the hotel lobby bar.
(Not exactly something we would do with children! LOL!!)

Hubby works Christmas too. So this past weekend we found another "light walk"
 and enjoyed a wonderful steak dinner out. It was just perfect.

So creative...


I know with great certainly that our attitude has a tremendous amount to do with the quality of our lives. My recent readings have enabled me to understand that sadness results from resistance to what is happening. Thinking that this "something" that was so unpleasant and undesirable should not be part of my life. The past few years, the holidays have of course magnified these emotions as while most are celebrating the holidays with family, I often find myself alone, waiting for my husband to get home. I didn't know how to cope with this. Until, I realized that  I was wasting so much of my emotional energy on resisting the change that was happening in my life. There was this deep feeling reminding me that I'm in charge of my emotions.  I learned long ago, that I can accept my present circumstances even if I don't approve of them. I need to do that once again.

My Uncle John use to always tell me to BE AT PEACE especially during the time that I was conquering Cancer at a young age. I find myself reflecting back to those lessons learned and journals kept. In my acceptance IS MY peace. It's not that I approve or that this is how I thought our family would evolve, but I do not move forward expressing regret, resentment or even rejection. With my acceptance, I have found the strength to actually begin to embrace my situation of being alone as an opportunity to be in control of my life and celebrate the healthy relationships I have.

I hope nothing more for you, my readers, that this holiday season finds you AT PEACE.
Many of us suffer loss in one form or another, and the holidays can magnify these feelings of loss, 
thus I will end with this from my Uncle's writing, 
grateful he left me so many manuscripts of his writings before his passing back in 1999:
"Peace comes from the realization that in any circumstance life remains filled with goodness. This situation may include a variety of unfortunate and undesirable facets, when they are accepted with insight and dealt with with patience there is to be found a treasure within ourselves."
Image result for rainbow
"Anyone who searches for the rainbow of peace will find the gold of inner strength. Suffering can be seen as the dense rainfall in which the rainbow is hidden for the moment. Worry or grief is like remaining in the rain rather than standing in the sun and observing the rain from a distance, the only place from which the rainbow can be seen. This life of the sun must be present to see the beauty of the rainbow." 
My friends this holiday, I challenge you, that whether it be you or someone you know, to stand in the bright and warm sun of peace rather than curse the chilling rain. Merry Christmas!
With SMILES! Val
winter holiday tinsel and lights


  1. What beautiful holiday light displays, Val! You are so right, it IS more important to find the JOY within on all days but particularly the holidays when all the traditional "shoulds" can make us feel as if we are missing out if we don't conform to them. You and the hubster have a Very Merry Christmas and a safe and joyous New Year!

  2. I really needed this tonight-thank you Val I am sitting here all alone watching a tv Christmas special feeling lonely and sorry for myself-and I should be grateful that I am not a widow right now-Larry had another heart operation this one was for a complete heart valve transplant-he is getting so much stronger now but needs allot of sleep still. and with his ptsd we never did get out and do things where there are lots of people. When I was working I always worked the holidays for the extra money we had holidays with friends always-now we really don't have many friends any more-they have mostly all passed on-we recently moved to a lake house-I am loving it and am grateful for such a beautiful view-sorry for going on so- hugs Merry Christmas

  3. Such truth, looking forward instead of back, I'm trying hard to do this at this time. You have been such a great friend, and I am so happy that things are working out for you now. All the best to you in 2020!!

  4. Thanks, Val. Your life was blessed by a very wise Uncle! We all need to see the trials of life in that view. His words are just beautiful.

  5. Thanks for these words, Val! When we follow peace, I think it leads to hope. Not hope for things to be different, but hope that springs from knowing that good can be found everywhere :)

  6. Thanks for this. As we spend a wonderful 10 days out of state with my in-laws and our daughter and her wife, I am acutely aware of the silence from my son. I have a ways to go with this journey to peace, but I am starting. It seems our new tradition will be to be away from home with other family and be enveloped with their warmth and support. Thanks for your words.

  7. Thank you, Val, I needed to hear this message today. May the coming new year bring you showers of blessings.

  8. You are so right that things do not always go how we would like them to go or how we dreamed they would go. Acceptance is very important. Thanks for the reminder.

  9. Love the photos of all the Christmas lights, very pretty. Hope you had a peaceful holiday. Lots of wisdom in what you've written. Thanks for sharing it.


I have to admit, your comments make me smile! Thanks for sharing and for letting me know you stopped by. I Hope your day is awesome!


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